Two Buddhist teachings resonate deeply with me:
- “If you let cloudy water settle, it will become clear. If you let your upset mind settle, your course will also become clear.”
- “We are shaped by our thoughts; we become what we think. When the mind is pure, joy follows like a shadow that never leaves.”
“If you let cloudy water settle, it will become clear. If you let your upset mind settle, your course will also become clear” has a profound relevance for anyone navigating this dimension of existence, especially for someone like me, a deeply sensitive individual easily disturbed by the world, one who is in eternal pursuit of calmness and clarity.
A Difficult Entry into the World
My grandmother often shared the story of my birth, recounting how, on the day of my arrival, I seemed reluctant to enter in to this world. Back in those days, cesarean deliveries were seldom used in my country, but after several failed attempts to induce labor, the doctors had no choice but to perform one on my mother. Even then, apparently my entry was arduous, as if I instinctively knew that the vibrations I was being born into would clash with my own, leading to inevitable mental suffering.
Born on a serene afternoon in the month of Vaisakha, I entered a life that was, for the most part, comfortable. Yet, I often found myself disconnected from the joy of living. While nothing was lacking materially, I struggled to experience the sweetness of existence. At most times in my journey through life, I have not been overly excited or found joy in living. I have lived most of my life in my native country, Sri Lanka, except for a period in my youth when I studied Law in the UK. I am an only child, raised by a resilient grandmother.
An Empath’s Struggle
It was only in my adulthood that I came across the term ‘empath’, which helped me to understand my heightened sensitivity. Regardless of the term, I continue to grapple with anxiety, which often overshadows my inner calm. Worry and fear emerge seemingly without a cause creating a chemical imbalance in my being, perhaps rooted as a result of my solitary journey through life.
As a child, I sought solace and excitement in nature, climbing trees, observing its rhythms, admiring objects of beauty, observing orderliness in things and exploring archaeological sites and temples. These escapes provided a sanctuary from my mundane existence and allowed me to glimpse a world of tranquility and completeness.
A Spiritual Calling through Travel
From an early age, I was drawn to places of historical and spiritual significance. Shortly after my father’s sudden demise, at the age of thirteen, I persuaded my grandmother to take me on a Buddhist pilgrimage to India. Back in the day, pilgrim tours organized from my native county would take participants to visit places of religious and as well as of cultural significance. I visited many archaeological, cultural and religious sites in multi faith India during a 45-day journey. The journey spanned through states of Tamil Nadu, Andhra Pradesh, Odisha, West Bengal, Bihar, Uttar Pradesh, Haryana, Delhi, Madhya Pradesh and Maharashtra, exposing me to a wealth of cultural and religious heritage.
The movement from one place to the other, change in the scenery, diverse cultures and information I gathered during this trip, fascinated me and I was in constant awe. This was a huge contrast to my normal self which lacked excitement and a zest for life. This pilgrimage ignited my passion for travel, which I later recognized as a life calling. Like any normal human being, I aspired for beauty, fame, recognition, and wealth in life, but out of all this the pull toward sacred spaces gradually took precedence. Traveling to such sacred places was a transformative experience, offering moments of clarity, renewal, and purpose. My muddy mild ADHD mind seems to settle and see a purpose when I travel. Therefore, all travels, whether it is in quest of a sacred space or not, I consider being “Spiritual”.
The Power of Sacred Spaces
Over the years, my travels have revealed the extraordinary healing potential of sacred spaces. I have come to realize that these are not merely physical locations but portals to a higher realm of consciousness.
In 2007, during a tour of Egypt, I had a fascinating experience that solidified a belief in the mystical potential of sacred spaces. Visiting the temples in Aswan and Luxor, I felt an inexplicable connection with the universe. It was as though an invisible force was pulling me towards a deeper understanding of my existence. This experience filled me with a sense of power, mystery, and fearlessness, marking somewhat of a spiritual awareness. I realized that sacred spaces can potentially unlock knowledge and bring about enlightenment to an individual. Little did I know at the time that that this was an introduction to many of my spiritual journeys in years to come.
Though, in my travels I would like to have encountered mystical sages or experiences, to much of my dismay to this day I haven’t encountered any such phenomena. However, I have found that the true magic lies in the simplicity of human connections and interconnectedness. The kindness of strangers and presence of certain individuals and circumstances have often left lasting impressions, enriching my soul in ways I never expected.
Healing through travels
Since my visit to Egypt there only have been foot prints of self-transformation. Whether it is looking on to the serenity of a lake, walking through an ancient site, inspecting a monument or observing silence at a sacred/sanctified space, the experiences I have gathered in my “spiritual travels” have opened pathways to self-discovery and diverse perspectives. Each time I travel I have felt a bit more of an “evolved person” than I have been previously. It is difficult to say whether it was to do with the vibration of the spaces or whether it is my own joy of traveling that created the balance and clarity in me.
Travel has become my most effective therapy, offering clarity, renewal and a sense of purpose. When my mind feels muddied by negativity and anxiety, the act of journeying to a new place transforms my outlook. Each experience brings me closer to a state of balance and gratitude.
Joy of Human Connection
One of the most profound aspects of travel is its ability to foster a deeper connection with humanity. Simple acts of kindness — sharing a smile, helping a stranger, or engaging in conversation with locals, create moments of purity and facilitate higher vibrations. These interactions have me appreciate the inherent goodness in people and the marvel of interconnectedness with all beings.
During a recent trip to Kerala, I boarded a public bus for a short journey. A woman in her late thirties, visibly stressed, entered the bus and stood near to the seat I was sitting, clutching a heavy bag in one hand while holding the railing with the other. Despite there being a place to keep her bag, she chose to hold on to hers, perhaps out of worry she was lost in her own world.
Moved by her discomfort and heaviness of her bag, I offered to hold her bag on to my lap. Immediately upon my gesture, I saw the weight of her distress lifting, her “stressed” face was replaced by a radiant smile. She looked at me and smiled joyously as if some bliss has been woken up in her being. Happiness radiated throughout her entire being; she said couple of words to me as she continued to smile and kept her bag on the designated space.
This simple incident made me realize that we effortlessly transfer joy to another human being when our own being is in harmony, and the profound impact of our actions can have on others as a result of our own joy. Joy is infectious. When we operate from a place of joy, compassion and positivity, we create ripples that can transform the energy around us. My joy, cultivated by my travels, became a catalyst for healing in someone else’s life.
The Mystique of Temples
Temples have always held a special place in my spiritual journey. Their architecture, the rituals performed and atmosphere evoke a sense of wonder and reverence. Watching temple devotees queue for hours to catch a fleeting glimpse of a deity, I am struck by the transformative power of faith. I have seen faces of the devotees transforming from stress to rejuvenation after a darshan (sighting the idol of a deity).
For many, the act of a darshan or sighting the idol of a deity offers solace and a sense of communion with the divine. These moments though brief, hold immense significance, providing comfort and healing to those who seek them.
Temples perhaps due to their vastu adhering structures, the vibrations from the mantras, incense burning, types of oils used in the lamps, or something else may help in altering the chemical composition or frequency of human beings. These chemical changes that occurs in a human being inside the walls of temples are unfathomable. But certainly, I believe it helps in the healing of the mind and body. These elements no doubt interact with the human psyche in ways that are difficult to measure but can be undeniably powerful.
For me, temples are sanctuaries where I feel a profound sense of a “home.” The vibrations of the mantras, the aroma of incense, and the soft glow of oil lamps create an environment of peace, introspect and renewal.
The Purpose of My Travels
My journeys to sacred spaces coupled with my desire to travel and to experience diverse cultural heritages has brought about appreciation human existence and connectivity. Each time I travel, my habitual existence which lacks zest for life, one that is riddled with anxiety gets replaced with gratitude, joy, and feelings of abundance.
Traveling allows me to step away from the noise and distractions of daily life. I feel that I vibrate at a higher frequency; the higher the vibration, the more I become “infectious “with joy. Traveling not only provides a space to reflect and heal but also reconnect with the essence of who I am. Each trip leaves me feeling more balanced, grateful, and aligned with a purpose.
My travels have taught me that when we are joyful, gratitude, compassion, and a sense of abundance flow naturally. These replace anxiety and fear, thus creating a foundation for a more meaningful existence.
Through my journeys, I’ve come to appreciate the beauty of humanity and the interconnectedness of all life. Each encounter, whether with a chaiwala on the roadside or a fellow traveler, reinforces the idea that we are all here to support and uplift one another.
Conclusion
My life, shaped by sensitivity and a relentless search for clarity, has been a difficult mental journey. From the quiet moments of reflection in nature to the profound experiences in sacred spaces, have brought me closer to understanding myself and the world around me
Travel for me is not just a physical act but a spiritual practice—a way to heal, grow, and connect with something greater than myself. It has shown me that joy, when nurtured within, has the power to radiate outward and transform the world around us.
As I continue on this path, I hold onto the wisdom of the teachings that have guided me: “If you let cloudy water settle, it will become clear. If you let your upset mind settle, your course will also become clear.” These words remind me that clarity, joy, and purpose are not found in external circumstances but within the stillness of a settled mind.
And I do believe that when clarity comes to us, “when the mind is pure, joy follows like a shadow that never leaves.” Thus, I shall keep traveling.
Wanda Kotalawala
My name is Wanda. I come from a proud lineage. On my paternal side, I inherit the genes of strong, independent women who, at their time were bold, spoke their minds and chose to live separated from husbands who were unsuitable for them. My maternal upbringing was deeply influenced by Buddhism, while my paternal side embraced a mix of Christianity and Buddhism. From an anthropological perspective, my ancestry dates back 300–400 years to present-day Tamil Nadu, where my clan originated from the royal seat of Madurai, part of the Pandyan dynasty.
I speak only two languages, English and my native Sinhala. I often like to travel to India, exploring sacred sites and to immerse myself in their rich history. When people meet me as a female solo traveler,they express amazement about how I manage to navigate my journeys without any knowledge of the local languages. Some call me brave, some look at me in wonder. For me, this is the way I am; it bears no specialty. Though some of my friends consider me as a spiritual traveler, I consider myself as an “experiencer through travel”. Here you will find my scared "little" story, one I hope will inspire and empower readers to embark on their own journeys of self-discovery and reclaim their mojo.